20220 Jeong Jiye: 12월 2014

2014년 12월 7일 일요일

Peer Review 2

Peer Review for Jo Joon Hee

Jo Joon Hee (20222) http://jojoonhee.blogspot.kr/

5 points

Technically perfect

Follows the classical argument

Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

Thought provoking and captivating

Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research

4 points

Technically perfect

Follows the classical argument

Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

3 points

Follows the classical argument

Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

Some evidence of drafting and research

2 points

Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

0 points

Incomplete or inadequate

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
This essay deserves a three. The perspective is unique - Most people think that robots will match human intelligence eventually. There is basic research to support some ideas.

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
The research needs to improve. Too many ideas are based on opinion. For example, the criticisms of Kurzweil are not founded on evidence, just the author's opinions.

Thesis
What is the thesis?
Although computers are constantly evolving, they will never be as powerful as the human brain.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
Yes and yes.

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
The human brain will always be more powerful than computers.

Any other thoughts?
This is interesting. It will be difficult to do any conclusive persuasion because the essay has to be based on conjecture since it is a hypothesis about the future.

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
I don't see the narration. There is a brief mention of the history of the fear of computers and robots out thinking people, but it is more of a lead in to a confirmation paragraph then a narration. A good narration should examine both sides of the issue and what popular opinion on both sides say.

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
The thesis claims computers are evolving, but human brains are not evolving. It seems like that is a powerful counterargument to the author's thesis - not a strong starting point.

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yes, but it is missing conjecture about the future. Just because current technology doesn't beat brain power, there is no reason to believe it won't eventually be able to.

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
No. The confirmation only addresses modern day competitors to the brain, not potential future threats. Since the thesis is about the future, I think this is a significant oversight.

Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
I think the counterpoint is reasonable - Comparing the brain to a computer is difficult or impossible. However, trying to compare them in terms of their ability doesn't directly connect to the thesis. The essay started with a premise about computational power, not practical outcomes.

Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
Yes. I think the final point that, if the reader disagrees with the author, we will cheat ourselves of future technological developments, and what we should really do is focus on using technology responsibly.

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
The narration is nonexistent or inadequate. Develop it - Tell us about those who agree with you and disagree with you. What are the stakes? If robots rival human brain power, so what? If they don't, so what? Why should we care?

Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I disagreed with the thesis.

When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I still disagree with the thesis.

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
I did not change my mind.

How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
Spend more time considering the future of technology, not where it stands today. You're saying that because today you can't do algebra, you'll never be able to do algebra. Its illogical.

Research
Is the author using research effectively?
Yes

Is the research from appropriate sources?
Yes, although none of them are from academic research.

Are the sources obvious?
Yes, the sources are obvious.

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
Usually. The quotes from the robotics expert aren't really relevant because he's only talking about robot power, not computer power.

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
The criticisms of Kurzweil definitely need more evidence. They are entirely opinion based. Perhaps more research into his career - Short comings or missing credentials - would help the argument.

Peer Review 1

Peer Review for Jung Ho Soo

Jung ho soo (20221) http://20221junghosoo.blogspot.kr/

5 points

Technically perfect

Follows the classical argument

Displays an interesting and unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

Thought provoking and captivating

Clearly the product of extensive drafting and research

4 points

Technically perfect

Follows the classical argument

Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

Clearly the product of thorough drafting and research

3 points

Follows the classical argument

Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

Some evidence of drafting and research

2 points

Displays a unique perspective on a highly specialized topic

0 points

Incomplete or inadequate

Final draft

Truth of Creativity

Most of us once noticed that we are getting in trouble when there is a pressure to think more creatively. For example, in the school, when we draw an imaginary picture, it is very difficult to decide what to draw because there is some burden to be unique and different from others. Why are you still suffering from thinking creative? Recently, many schools encourage creative classroom and innovative education but students remain as they are. There, I wonder if we become creative by education. Think it this way - Not everyone can become creative. Many of you are trying to make your children creative by teaching playing the piano and drawing but are they not all creative. Although we emphasize being creative, creativity is not learned.

We confront many difficulties throughout the life and we continuously find out solutions to deal with those matters. It, however, is not always possible. All of us once have had difficulty finding solutions. In this circumstances, 'creativity' can solve the problem. Creativity is a mental characteristic that allows a person to think outside of the box, which results in innovative or different approaches to a particular task. With only this definition, you can notice its existence. The ability reveals its magnificence when it deals with problems. There are seven steps to solving a problem. First, find the right problems to solve. Second, define the problem. Third, analyse the problem. Then, develop opportunities. Select the best solution and implement. Lastly, evaluate and learn what was effective in solving a problem. If you want to do well in these steps, you should use your creativity.

Many of us don't have doubt on the creativity, and they just want to know how to develop it. That is the common phenomenon because we often think highly of something novel and innovative. As we have eager to be better than others, their desires to be creative also increase and this reflects today's society encouraging novelty. However, we don't pay much attention to the basic question. Are they sure it is possible to learn becoming creative? If there is no problem, why can't everyone displays that ability? Though these considerations, I thought that we need to take this more seriously.

Though 'creativity' has diverse opinions upon its possibility to develop, it is quite easy to discover examples that will support my arguments. If a person can be taught how to think creatively, everyone can become like Einstein and Shakespeare. Almost everyone will accept that it can't be. Then I'll give you some examples to help your understanding on this. Most of you have once learned playing the piano, usually by your parents' purpose to bring up your creativity. However, not everyone becomes a pianist. Also, if you know how to deal with lumber and tools, you cannot make magnificent chairs that are greatly appreciated by others. In addition, from creative writing professor Hanif Kureishi, some students don't know how to write a story, even though they took creative writing class altogether. (Flood, 2014). Then he said that such kind of lecture is "a waste of time". (Kureishi, 2014). This is because they are not natural writers. Also, Michael Sandel, a professor at Havard University stated following:

"we cannot teach creativity because it is a habit of mind. It can be nurtured when students take Humanities and Arts classes and make an effort continuously to think freely. " (Sandel, 2014)

Most are not very aware the concept of creativity, but it is important when you understand this argument. Creativity is not a discipline, but a kind of a personal characteristic. Also, It is not a conventional 'skill' like playing the piano and making furniture as I already said above that you can pay to have taught to you. Instead, you have to know that we all possess creativity but its degree is different. These difference make gap between normal people and famous artists. People should recognize that they have contradictory attitude toward 'teaching creative' that they try to make their children become more creative and accept its impossibility at once. As everyone has their amount of creative ability, we don't know who have outstanding ability. However, those examples and expert opinion are showing that teaching creativity is impossible.

I have many supporters for my arguments, but there are some opponents at the same time as everything always has both different opinions. Some say that they can improve one's creativity by providing a proper environment. They also stated that they can technically bring up creativity in some parts. (Naiman, 2014). It is true because no one knows who have an innate ability to become a prodigy. However, It does not always happen. This indicates that creativity is eventually not the thing that can be developed. They are just given information that let them know how to use 'tools', not the ability to 'think creatively'. That is opponents' have no direct connection in teaching creativity.

It is sometimes common, or sometimes unfamiliar to deal with creativity. This is because we often overlook its properties. People have an unconscious mind that they can develop their ability to be more creative, so they look for 'creative class' and 'creative teaching'. However, I don't agree with this. Everyone has creativity but its degree is all different to individual and not always creative teaching method is directly related to creative results. That is we cannot learn to be creative. Recently, society requires to be more innovative and ingenious. If you have deep consideration on this argument and correctly understand our limitation of creativity, you can obtain what our society expect to you.

References

Business Dictionary. Creativity. Retrieved from http://m.businessdictionary.com/definition/creativity.html

Flood, Ailson. (2014, March 4). Creative writing professor Hanif Kureishi says such courses are 'a waste of time'. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/mar/04/creative-writing-courses-waste-of-time-hanif-kureishi

Goncalo, Jack. (2014, March 4). INET Toronto Conference. Retrieved from

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20140314-learn-to-be-creative

Kureishi, Hanif. (2014, March 4). Can Creativity Be Taught?. Retrieved from http://journograds.com/2014/06/11/can-creativity-be-taught/

Mumaw,Stefan. (2012, December). Born This Way: Is Creativity Innate or Learned?. Retrieved

http://www.peachpit.com/articles/article.aspx?p=2005380

Naiman, Linda. (2014, June 6). Can Creativity be Taught? Results from Research Studies. Retrieved from

http://www.creativityatwork.com/2012/03/23/can-creativity-be-taught/

Robert, Michele Root Bernstein (2011, April 22). Can Creativity Be Taught?. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/imagine/201104/can-creativity-be-taught

Sandel, Michael. (2014, April). Human After All. Retrieved from

http://www.hankyung.com/news/app/newsview.php?aid=2014041485591